


Floydian Farm

by GreatGawain



Series: The Adventures of Pink Floyd [6]
Category: Pink Floyd
Genre: Crack Fic, Gen, Not Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:01:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24579469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreatGawain/pseuds/GreatGawain
Summary: A chaotic crackfic. I think this one just needs to be experienced
Series: The Adventures of Pink Floyd [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1772323
Kudos: 8





	Floydian Farm

Once upon a time, there was a horse named Roger. He was really mean and had a bigger nose than all the other horses. But he didn't care and instead decided to build walls in place of being social.  
One day, one of Roger the horse's very few friends Richard decided to visit. Rick was a cat with 10 foot long eyelashes that he always tripped over. But he didn't mind; apparently the fool was fine with looking very feminine.  
So he decided to see Roger the horse. He came down from the barn and stumbled to where Roger the horse was fishing for oysters outside the wall. He came up to him and was like,  
"Um, excuse me, Roggie, um, I uh… excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt or be rude, um, excuse me…"  
And Roger the horse was all like  
"What the fuck do you want you stupid idiot?! You're too God damn quiet!! If you don't start speaking up I'll fire you before I leave myself!"  
And Rick the cat blinked his 20 foot long eyelashes and was like  
"I'm- I'm sorry, I didn't want to make anyone, you know, um, angry…"  
And Roger the horse was all like  
"Akanasakana SHUT UP!!!" and he started tearing down walls and Rick the cat was so scared his 30 foot long eyelashes got all sad and he started to cry and that woke up Syd the raccoon and Nick the chipmunk, both of who were asleep in a treeful of secrets nearby so they came down and Nick the chipmunk was all like  
"Hey, Roger, piss off!"  
And Roger the horse was all like  
"No! I don't know how to handle my personal problems so I make everyone listen to my stupid war songs and I draw disturbing pictures to go along with them!"  
And Nick the chipmunk was all like  
"Who cares?"  
And Syd the raccoon was all like  
"Iggy."  
And Rick the cat was just starting to dry his eyes with his 40 foot long eyelashes when a giant, big, fat, obnoxious, slobbery dog that smacked his lips a lot and had long greasy hair bounded out of the woods and ran around the pasture, scaring all the horses and making Rick the cat cry all over again and get his 50 foot long eyelashes all sad again. And he ran around repeatedly saying "I'm a dog," and stopping only to say to Rick the cat  
"You're such a sensitive pussy,"  
And he kept on running around, saying "I'm a dog," over and over again until he got tired and came over to Roger the horse and Rick the cat and Nick the chipmunk and Syd the raccoon and said, "Wot's… uh, the deal?"  
Rick the cat continued to cry as Nick the chipmunk said  
"Roger's being mean to Rick and he made him cry and his 60 foot eyelashes got sad and he woke Syd and me up from that tree full of secrets over there."  
And Syd the raccoon was like  
"Lemonade."  
And Roger the horse got all mad and said  
"You guys are boring."  
And David the dog smacked his lips REALLY loudly and very seductively licked them a million bajillion times before he was all like  
"You're boring."  
And Nick the chipmunk was like  
"Can I go race my cars now?"  
And David the dog was like  
"NO, shut up and write a book or something."  
Then Rick the cat, who had used his 70 foot long eyelashes to dry his eyes for the SECOND TIME _ROGER_ , finally said quietly,  
"Um, excuse me, um…"  
And David the dog got all crazy and started flapping his titties which he had even though he was a guy and going all like  
"WHAT?!"  
And Rick the cat fluttered his 80 foot long eyelashes and was like  
"Oh my God, Roger, you're so pretty"  
And Roger the horse was all like  
"Oh my God Rick, you're so cute"  
And they started making out right there in the field right in front of everyone. The other 3 guys were really grossed out.  
Nick the chipmunk said  
"Ew."  
And David the dog said  
"Gross."  
And Syd the raccoon lit a joint and said  
"Terrapin."  
And so David the dog and Nick the chipmunk were really bored for about 5 hours until the 2 finally finished and acted like nothing happened.  
"I think I'll buy a guitar." David the dog said.  
"I think I'll buy me a football team," Nick the chipmunk said.  
'I think I'll buy some mascara," Rick the cat said, blinking his 90 foot long eyelashes.  
"Opel," Syd the stoned raccoon said.  
David the dog took out a comb and started very sexually brushing his hair and was like  
"Maybe I'll try to write a concept album,"  
And sexually oblivious Roger the horse went crazy and had a heart attack and was all like  
"Holy shit concept albums arglebargle ghghdfklbg!!!"  
and started pissing rainbows and shitting brix. And he got so excited he exploded, but no one really cared because his nose was just taking up too much room anyway. Except Rick the cat and his 100 foot long eyelashes. He just cried again. But everyone ignored him too.

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> The Classic in all it's glory lmao  
> This was the first crack fic I ever did and hopefully you enjoy~
> 
> Written and posted 2010, no edits


End file.
